Pictures and Life.

Uhuh, uhuh, life's like this.

Life's like what? It's like THIS!!!

Work Life:
Work is great and it sucks at the same time. Dunno how it works exactly, but that's how it is right now, and no use asking questions, don't you think? Hm. Okay, let me try to explain. What's great about work is that I'm getting much more used to the routine of things and I'm able to move through the schedule faster than before. This is good because not only does it get us all back home faster, but people stop bugging you about this and that and are you doing it right or aren't yous? The "sucks" part is when we're short staffed, and there's way too many customers. The other day there was only me and another co-worker taking care of the floor and hall area during a "peak" and it was absolutely insane and hectic. Good thing that this particular co-worker I worked with is one of my very favorites. He's nothing hot or good looking, but he's got a winner personality that's positive and outgoing and is fast and efficient. Just what I need at the late hour of 9-12pm. One more thing that "sucks" about work is that it has succeeded in throwing my body clock off completely. I get home at around 1:00 AM, and I usually take an hour to take a shower, and wind down for bed. That's not the problem though. The problem is by the time it's 2:00 AM, I'm wide awake and sleep is the last thing my body and mind are up to. I think it's insomnia yet again. It's all mental though. I think I might have tried to sort the "insomnia is all in the mind" business in a previous post, so I'm not gunna go through that again, but either way, I've been scraping by with 1 to 2 hours of sleep these past 3 weeks, and when I get 3 hours of sleep, I'm lucky. It would be a different story if I was the napping kind, but as fate has it, I'm not. I can doze for 30 minutes, but sleep is almost impossible. My body is definitely feeling the strain, and I need some super-strong sleeping pills like NOW~!

It was nice when one Lixy picked me up from work and walked me back home over some drinks. I don't mind the 30 minute walk back home by myself, but it only so happens to be Adachi-ku where apparently crime is known to be rampant, so I'm thankful enough for the company. I haven't had any alcohol for 2 months, so although it was only a short cocktail that I drank, I felt it...slightly.

Personal, Family, Home Life:
*My older sis visited me the other day. She was a whole shade darker. Looked like she's been working on her tan faithfully. My first words to her after seeing her were the obvious:
"Long-time-no-see! Woah, look at your tan! Not bad, I must say."

Her first words were:
"You lost weight!"

So I guess I did, since I'm getting that a lot these days. Whatever. It's really whatever. But for all those of you who are trying to get your bikini bodies and to be able to fit into your summer dresses and mini shorts, the secret is to drink lots of water, stick to your diet (it could be any diet really) for 2 weeks and over, and you'll get noticeable results. It's no big secret and it's nothing new, but it works.

*Pilates and Hip Hop Abs are my new exercise obsessions. They're helping me along the lines of looking how an 18 year old ought to, and keeping all the ice-creams and chocolates I want to eat from sticking around my midsection, etc.

*4th floor is looking WAY cool! All the handymen that are helping us out with the renovation deserve 10 brownie points and then some! My hat goes off again and again to every one of the workers.

*My Mom's dieting. And progress is being made! 3 cheers for her!

*It's a month till the long awaited Youth Training Camp/Academy that will last for a whole freakin month. I don't know if I should be excited about it or whether i should be dreading even the thought of it as I've never been to one of this length before. So, I'm trying to do a little bit of both. It's not working. The age old fear of whether I'll fit in or not, whether they'll be a guy I like or not, whether I'll be able to take the "training" or not are racing through my mind.

*Shiro and Marie came over and we all watched "Blades of Glory" over chocolate and a custard pie I made. I had so much fun I thought for a moment that I had died and gone to Heaven or something. If you're up to a comedy that you can bust your belly over with some friends and snacks and you don't find gays offensive, than this one is THE movie to watch. Don't delay and get to it now!


*Took some photos with Ken a few weeks back. (They would be the ones you're seeing everywhere throughout this post. )

work, life, this 'n that.

My dear older brother will be visiting all the way from Taiwan this month!! I'm overjoyed! I miss that guy...

That's the good news. The bad news is that my back and shoulders and neck are in pain. You know how your back and shoulders start aching when you're short on sleep for a few days in a row? Well, that's the kinda pain I'm dealing with right now. The other night, I got ZERO sleep. I came back from work at around 1am, took a shower and got to bed at 2am, but despite how tired my body was, my brain was wide awake, and wouldn't stop spinning, and I couldn't find a position that I felt comfortable to sleep in. It was SO annoying! I was horrified as I watched it getting brighter outside and checked my watch to read 4:30am. I gave up on sleeping after that. I had work the next day, and thankfully, I slept well that night, but I'm still rather tired, and I've got work tonight as well. I'm getting used to it though, and I'm making less mistakes. It's all good.

It's getting so hot and sticky these days. It's doing horrible wonders to my appetite too. I don't feel like eating much these days, even when I'm hungry! I look at food, (esp. if it's a soup, or it's a hot dish) and believe it or not, feel tired--just by looking at it! It's insane! I have a feeling I'll be losing some weight...heh heh! There exceptions to this though. For example, if it were an avocado salad, or mixed nuts, or a chilled fruit salad, or chicken salad, I'll be up to eating it. Other then that though, food tires me.

I'm wondering if I should change my hair style. Maybe cut it short? Maybe grow it out super long and perm it straight? Cut a new style of bangs? I'm not so sure, but I want a new look. We'll see what I'll end up doing. Oh, but I'm positive about getting contact lenses. Glasses are such, such a bore!

Will write more later

Sleep Paraysis

It's down right freaky! Serious! Anybody else who's experienced it before would agree with me. The feeling of suffocation, the heavy weight on the chest, not being able to move, the horrible buzzing and ringing in the ears, the feeling that something ugly and sinister is watching me, the occasional yucky visions, and the sense of utter danger makes me feel that I might actually belong in a mental hospital!!


And for those of you who are lucky enough to not know what the bleep I'm talking bout, here's a short explanation.

Symptoms and Characteristics

Physiologically, sleep paralysis is closely related to the paralysis that occurs as a natural part of REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, which is known as REM atonia. Sleep paralysis occurs when the brain awakes from a REM state, but the body paralysis persists. This leaves the person fully conscious, but unable to move. The paralysis can last from several seconds to several minutes "after which the individual may experience panic symptoms and the realization that the distorted perceptions were false". When there is an absence of narcolepsy, sleep paralysis is referred to as isolated sleep paralysis (ISP). "ISP appears to be far more common and recurrent among Blacks than among Whites or Nigerian Blacks",and is often referred to within Black communities as "the Devil on your back"

In addition, the paralysis state may be accompanied by terrifying hallucinations (hypnopompic or hypnagogic) and an acute sense of danger. Sleep paralysis is particularly frightening to the individual due to the vividness of such hallucinations. The hallucinatory element to sleep paralysis makes it even more likely that someone will interpret the experience as a dream, since completely fanciful, or dream-like, objects may appear in the room alongside one's normal vision. Some scientists have proposed this condition as an explanation for alien abductions and ghostly encounters. A study by Susan Blackmore and Marcus Cox of the University of the West of England supports the suggestion that reports of alien abductions are related to sleep paralysis rather than to temporal lobe lability.

The above is from Wiki, but believe me, it's a whole lot more freaky then how it makes the real thing sound.

Here's how some people describe their experiences...

*I experience pressure on my chest.
*Feel that my whole body is being pulled, as by a magnet. Sometimes just my feet, or an arm; sometimes feel I am being pulled into the bed.
* I once thought I'd done a 360 degree turn in my bed, and once felt as if I were pulled out of the bed. I thought I was nuts.
*The unseen presence was the cause of the experience. It gives you the feeling of something really evil and it is always frightening . . . I never see this being . . . It felt like this thing wanted to kill me . . . My eyes are open during these experiences and it makes it more frightening because I cannot see what it is that is holding me down.
*I never feel like I can get enough breath.
* I tend to take quick shallow breaths.
*There were times I thought that I would die because I felt that I would never get my breath back. It is a horrible feeling.
* Sometimes it's very hard to breathe as if someone is sitting on my chest.

Freaky? Absolutely!

And it's not just the suffocating feeling that's freaky....it's also the sense of an evil spirit. It's not the easiest thing to describe, and sometimes when i try to describe these things to friends, and they haven't experienced sleep paralysis, they kinda look at me funny, as if I were slightly coo coo. Well, I must admit, it sounds coo coo enough. But once you actually experience it, it's so real it's disturbing!

Here's something I read about it...
The presence associated with sleep presence may also be endowed with certain minimal "psychological" qualities such as that of attention. The presence is often somehow attending to, watching, or monitoring the subject. It is "as if someone that I couldn't see was there, watching." One of the most common comments about the SP experience is that "It feels as if someone is standing there watching me." Respondents are frequently puzzled that they are unable to specify how they know this or even where precisely they think the presence is located. "You feel that someone is looking at you and you don't know where they specifically are." Aside from being very disconcerting this must certainly contribute to the otherworldly sense of the presence. In slightly stronger terms other respondents will describe the presence as "staring at," rather than merely watching, them.

The sensed presence may form the core of subsequent hallucinations involving several modalities. The sensed presence may form the core of subsequent hallucinations involving several modalities. Although very few people actually make the suggestion spontaneously, one respondent was quite specific about the transformation. "The unseen presence starts to emerge as a formed being." Since the presence is usually perceived of as threatening, the interpretation is usually of a presumably readily available innate, "prepared," or conventional image of image of something mysterious and threatening.

Woah! Don't I hate SP or what?! God forbid!! *shudder*
Apparently, I experience pretty mild SP. I know some people who actually feel claw-like-things around their necks, they hear voices, they see visions and other ew-ness. I've been junking the naps, and sleeping on my back, and the staying up late for a while, and thankfully haven't experienced SP for a while. I hope it stays this way.